tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14842383302544499922024-03-13T16:46:56.051-04:00Suzie's NookKnitting, Books, Travel and (perhaps) MoreSuziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-7502577431935742702013-09-22T10:52:00.001-04:002013-09-22T18:51:08.587-04:00A Weighty MatterI'm overweight. The BMI charts and my WiiFit hasten to add that I'm also Obese. I've struggled with my weight from third grade on. I've always wanted to get at the Why I use food for comfort. I seem to think that if I can figure out the loose wire or broken pipe of why I abuse food and then fix it, my trouble with food will be over. A discussion in a church meeting recently made me question that belief. The discussion made me think it was more a matter of attitude. <div><br></div><div>We were talking about changing our church. We were talking about fixing it. We were wondering whether or not find the loose wire or broken pipe (knowing the Why) and fixing it would really make a difference. The pastor asked a couple of questions, one about change and one about attitude, "What does it take to make disciple-makers?" and "Do we even want to?" I had the thought, "I could ask myself the same question about weight loss." I then put a pin in that thought because I was supposed to be thinking about the church not myself. Today I'm getting back to that pin. </div><div><br></div><div>What would it take for me to lose weight permanently? Do I even want to? The answer to the second question should be a resounding YES, but then I think of the ways I sabotage myself--buying doughnuts "to be nice", getting that milkshake (or candy bar or bag of chips) "because I deserve it". Do I really want to do the hard work necessary to change my life? (Because it will be hard and long--I've over 80 pounds to lose) And if I do, what will it take? <br><div><br></div><div><br><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-67694265335494274612012-11-12T22:43:00.001-05:002012-11-12T23:01:25.895-05:00Where My Cat SitsWhen my parents moved to assisted living, we adopted their cat, Frankie. He's a beautiful white Turkish Angora with pink ears and nose and ice blue eyes. His fur is so soft that it's a delight to pat. He purrs loudly to himself and sits on our bed most of the day, until evening. Then, around 10, he stalks downstairs to shoo us up to bed. When we get there, he merows until I lie down. Then he gingerly pads his way up my torso and plops on my chest, folding his front feet under. He sits there purring contentedly until I laugh too much at what Steve says thereby jiggling him or until I turn on my c-pap machine which blows air onto him. It's a routine we've followed since he's moved in. It comforts me. It also takes me back to my past. It reminds me of my cat growing up who would do a similar thing to my Grandma on the couch while she was taking her afternoon nap. I guess that being a cat pillow skips a generation. <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-YrHdL3Sghfo/UKHGFI74FyI/AAAAAAAABi4/vqgB8FCKRVM/s640/blogger-image-187508828.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-YrHdL3Sghfo/UKHGFI74FyI/AAAAAAAABi4/vqgB8FCKRVM/s640/blogger-image-187508828.jpg" /></a></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-43059842217511403312012-04-02T22:04:00.001-04:002012-04-03T09:48:08.794-04:00Clothes Make the (Wo)manIf you know me or my dearly beloved at all, you know we don't really care about clothes. Steve wears shorts year round (except at work where they frown on that kind of thing), and my favorite shirt is a flowered, multi-colored affair that I've had for almost 20 years. <br />
<br />
Steve probably won't change much. I, however, want to revamp my thinking. I just finished reading The Thoughtful Dresser: The Art of Adornment, the Pleasures of Shopping and Why Clothes Matter by Linda Grant. It got me thinking about how I am presenting myself. It wasn't a "how to" book on fashion. It was a discussion about what fashion means to us, how it makes us feel, how history has changed it, and how a really pretty pair of shoes can get us through a tough time. Ms Grant shared her story and also that of Catherine Hill, a holocaust survivor whose love of fashion helped her survive Auschwitz and life afterward. Neither Ms Hill nor Ms Grant saw shopping as the chore I've thought it to be. As with most things, I need to lighten up and have more fun. <br />
<br />
I'm not going to turn into some militant fashionista. Steve doesn't need to worry about me draining the bank account to support my clothes-horsiness. In fact, I'm going to only buy stuff that reflects me (or at least, my vision of me). I'm not going to buy something just because it's cheap or practical or pink. This weight loss journey I've been on since December provides the perfect opportunity to test my new ideas. I've already gone down a size and had to buy a few things. So far so good. Now if I can just keep my mutton self from dressing like a lamb to use one of Ms Grant's metaphors, I'll be golden. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QXpIktc13PU/T3papWn_kWI/AAAAAAAAA7Y/2NyDwZGPAd4/s640/blogger-image--1298272146.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QXpIktc13PU/T3papWn_kWI/AAAAAAAAA7Y/2NyDwZGPAd4/s640/blogger-image--1298272146.jpg" /></a></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com2Laurel Laurel39.096567 -76.877872tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-79034013872506628822011-07-16T22:04:00.000-04:002011-07-16T22:04:08.852-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 16Last Song I Heard--I'm listening to Pandora which I love. If you want to explore new music in genres or styles that you like, Pandora is a wonder. It has introduced me to so many new bands that I absolutely am jazzed by. The station I listen to the most is my Manic Street Preachers station. They form the style that Pandora pulls music for, but they have had so many styles over the years that I get more than just 80's from them. The last song I heard was Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/wBgp5aDH23g?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-36625201265131274022011-07-15T17:08:00.000-04:002011-07-15T17:08:06.591-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 15Song from the last concert you went to--I enjoyed U2 before I met DH but never followed them as closely as he did. Since we've been married, we've seen U2 three times, once in Philadelphia, once in Chicago and now once in Baltimore, just a couple weeks ago in fact. I'm going back for the oldie but goodie, Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/3vMUvCYTtmM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-86551368857808729292011-07-14T12:15:00.000-04:002011-07-14T12:15:36.176-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 14A strange song--The strangest song I have on my iPhone is Courtrais by Jon Hassell. Even the album name is odd, Last Night the Moon Came Dropping its Clothes in the Street. It's so strange that it isn't even on YouTube! So the song next on my list of songs that normal people don't listen to is Chaiyya Chiayya Bollywood Joint. I'm actually kinda excited to share this song. The YouTube video is exceedingly cool! Indians dancing on a moving train surrounded by beautiful scenery. What more could you want on a Thursday?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/YOYN9qNXmAw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-88759366779914002332011-07-13T22:34:00.000-04:002011-07-13T22:34:42.708-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 13<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/M11SvDtPBhA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Song I can't help but like--Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus I hear this song, and I start singing along. If I'm in my car, I dance in my seat and sing at the top of my lungs; if I'm at home, I dance around the room and sing at the top of my lungs. DH bought the song for me on iTunes because he was so amused by me. I know that this song might ruin my music street cred (if I have any), but I can't help it. It makes me happy!Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-84459207871894263142011-07-12T22:06:00.000-04:002011-07-12T22:06:31.428-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 12A song that reminds you of someone you hate--Hate. There's no person I currently hate, so I'm going to pick on an insect instead. The particular little nasty I've found a video for is called a spider or cave cricket. Ugh! They look like a 6-legged spider and jump like a pogo stick on steroids. Ugh and bleh! I kill them with Raid because I can't bring myself to get within stomping distance of them. When sprayed they have quite the little death scene, jumping all around and on everything trying to escape the poison killing them. If you've never seen them in person, this video might not have the cringe factor that it does for me imagining them. Ugh, bleh and ehewwwwww! The music played is the theme from Jaws. Truly appropriate if you've ever done battle with them. Ugh, bleh, ehewwww, and ACK!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/tWcvvlXJxqg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-14019810986245082222011-07-11T23:15:00.000-04:002011-07-11T23:15:13.171-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 11Song that reminds you of a friend-Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. Kristy loves Bon Jovi. She's got all their albums, she's been to their concerts a few times, she's cool like that. I'm not sure what her favorite Bon Jovi song is, but I chose this one because sometimes it seems that's all we have is prayer. She's a great believer in it, and I am, too. This isn't the best version I've heard of the song, but it takes place in New Orleans, LA. Louisiana is one of the two states of the 50 that Kristy hasn't visited. Perhaps if Bon Jovi plays there next year, she will get that one knocked out, too!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/Ph2y8dw_Ug0/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ph2y8dw_Ug0&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ph2y8dw_Ug0&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-60120663914962971412011-07-10T18:56:00.001-04:002011-07-10T19:15:19.484-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 10A third of the way through the Song Challenge. I'm enjoying this. Hope you are, too! Today's challenge is a song that reminds you of a family member. Whenever I hear big band music, I think of my Grandma and Grandpa. They used to go out dancing, and Grandpa sang as a hobby like I do. He almost made it big with Paul Whiteman's orchestra, but he decided to get a job with the gas company so that he could save up and marry Grandma. I'm glad he made the choice he did. He was a great man, and I can't wait to see him again in heaven, dancing cheek to cheek with my Grandma to Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. I miss them both so much.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/AQseFAcWvtE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-57000291926205160442011-07-09T22:45:00.001-04:002011-07-10T18:37:26.732-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 9<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/YVeQoHdIDEE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>The song that inspires me by an artist that inspires me-Mighty to Save sung by Jeremy Camp. <br />
<br />
We sing this song fairly regularly in church. Every time we do it seems that God reminds me of another mountain in my life that He is able to move.<br />
<br />
Jeremy Camp himself is inspiring, too. When he was 23, he lost his first wife to ovarian cancer. My sweet DH dying is my worst nightmare. For Jeremy to not only suffer that so young and to trust God through it amazes me.Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-52694549898771795612011-07-08T18:53:00.001-04:002011-07-08T18:54:42.483-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 8The song that gets stuck in my head all the time--Actually I have a theory about songs running through my head. I have found sometimes that the songs that run through my head reflect how I am feeling in some way. <br />
<br />
Even so, I get annoyed by the song eventually. My DH has a song that will always get an annoying song out of one's head. The Smurf Song. Of course then you have to get that one out. There's always the Song that Never Ends!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/KjpVWKS_I7M/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KjpVWKS_I7M&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KjpVWKS_I7M&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-82876658872641407422011-07-08T00:08:00.001-04:002011-07-08T00:22:37.761-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 7The song I hate. Hate is such a strong word. I generally don't hate stuff unless I'm being melodramatic. I was having trouble thinking what song I hate when it hit me. You Lost That Lovin' Feelin' by any band. Ugh! If DH wants to get on my nerves, push my buttons, encourage my crabbiness, he plays that song and laughs. If they'd only make it in a punk rock version, then it would at least be more musically interesting. Sigh.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/r8hjtFq3vE0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-13933423405315409802011-07-06T18:42:00.000-04:002011-07-06T18:42:57.759-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 6A song that makes me laugh--This song makes me hoot. The video makes it even better. Please enjoy!<br />
<br />
Cows with Guns--The Dead Kennedys<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FQMbXvn2RNI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-62032877591180873382011-07-05T19:13:00.000-04:002011-07-05T19:13:06.764-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 5<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/rOEpdWyus2A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe>A song that makes me cry--I'll apologize from the get-go to those of you who dislike country music, and I think that a person could get a pancake breakfast's worth of maple sap from this song. I love it though, and I'm a hot mess just listening to it to choose the link for this blog. BTW, I don't have it on my iPod. I can't see while I'm driving when I cry as hard as I do with this song (every stinking time I hear it, mind you!) She Misses Him on Sunday The Most by Diamond RioSuziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-76336432679028701792011-07-04T12:11:00.000-04:002011-07-04T12:11:43.507-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 4Song that makes me smile: Audio Adrenaline's Big House.<br />
<br />
I smile at the debate my DH and I always have when hearing it together. The song has a line about God having a big, big yard where we can play football. I argue that they mean soccer, what the majority of the world calls football and the game you actually play with your feet. He argues that it's talking about American football, a game that is misnamed IMHO since players carry the ball in their hands. <br />
<br />
I smile wistfully, too, at the simplicity of the song. "All I know is you need love, and I've got a family. . . . Come and go with me to my Father's house." It cuts across ideologies, hang-ups, and anger and highlights the Father's love and desire for everyone to accept His love and hospitality. I know for most people that Christianity isn't so simple. It always has been for me. God loves me, I want to be in heaven with Him, so what do I have to do for that to happen. Believe that Jesus is Lord and that God raised him from the dead. I guess this song makes me cry, too, for those who won't/can't believe that truth. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/omoOLhDdTPA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-90027473704249296442011-07-03T18:16:00.000-04:002011-07-03T18:16:43.280-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 3The first song I ever heard--My Mom was always playing music. The first song I remember hearing multiple times was "Drip, Drip, Drop, Little April Showers" from the Bambi soundtrack. I was 4. I don't have that on my iPod though, and since that is a stipulation I made for myself, sorry, no Bambi video. The first song on my iPod I remember hearing is "Just the Two of Us" by Grover Washington, Jr. I was 8 or 9 and the cool college guy next door played it all the time. Our houses were a stones throw away, and we both kept our windows open. I'm probably fortunate that's all I heard at that tender age. <br />
<br />
I have the straight-up Grover Washington, Jr. version and Will Smith's version that he sang about his son, Jaden. Both are sweet.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8oxb4LayC7A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-79169375723583023322011-07-02T19:04:00.000-04:002011-07-02T19:04:17.351-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 2The first song I ever heard by my favorite artist: Day 2 and already this list is giving me pause. Who is my favorite artist? Who do I always go back to? No idea! <br />
<br />
I enjoy Christian/Worship music. When my heart is troubled, I head there. When I'm angry I head to metal music, the louder the better, until my equilibrium is reestablished. I enjoy blues, jazz, rock n' roll, country (gasp!), rap, classical, pop, pretty much whatever. I listen to any song (a least a bit of it) once. And if it's music played by a friend, I'm an instant fan! My husband, Steve, is a lot like that, too, although if you ask him, he'd say that his favorite artist is U2. Okay, enough dilly dallying and shilly shallying. I pick Muse as my favorite artist and Super Massive Black Hole as the first song I heard by them.<br />
<br />
So, without further ado, Super Massive Black Hole by Muse!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/BwB8L092ZzU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-1812648446153781682011-07-01T16:44:00.001-04:002011-07-01T17:07:53.431-04:0030 Day Song Challenge--Day 1I've been woefully lacking in blog posts this year. FourSquare proved easier to log vacation activites, and I've not been knitting much. Whoops, there go my blog ideas.<br />
<br />
A Twitter friend @THESteveDeVries, posted this 30 Day Song Challenge on his blog. I looked at the topics and thought, "This is doable." All the songs titles will come from my iPod. I'll be uploading video (hopefully). Enjoy and join along if you want!<br />
<br />
Day 1--My Favorite Song<br />
<br />
Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/6j7huh5Egew?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-20479281214099422322011-02-06T14:38:00.000-05:002011-02-06T14:38:37.888-05:00Self-sufficiency<style>
@font-face {
font-family: "Times New Roman";
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }table.MsoNormalTable { font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Self-sufficiency. Merriam-Webster’s defines it as being able to maintain oneself or itself without outside aid; capable of providing for one's own needs.<span> </span>I’ve spent my life in self-sufficiency and robbed myself of God’s sustaining grace, the kind of grace that God metes out for dealing with the trials and tribulations of life.<span> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Most huge things in life are not meant to be dealt with on one’s own.<span> </span>Instead I am supposed to approach God’s throne with confidence, trust Him during the trial, that the trial has purpose and meaning and that it will bring maturity as He says it will instead of shutting down and not allowing the pain to enter.<span> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Shutting down makes one numb.<span> </span>I woke up this morning, and my one thought was that I was numb.<span> </span>I’m not feeling the pain of my marriage to a wonderful, supportive husband who I will never give up but who doesn’t understand me like I really want to be understood (which hurts although I believe it to be typical), the pain of dealing with two physically needy parents, the pain of not having and, more and more, never having children of my own, even the old pains of having to leave all my friends after 6th grade or further back of my Dad leaving me and my Mom.<span> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m tired of my self-sufficiency.<span> </span>Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”<span> </span>James 1:2 -4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.<span> </span>Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>So come, pain, wrack my heart with your sharpness during these my trials, but also come, Lord Jesus, send your grace to support me in my trials and bring the perseverance and maturity that You long for me to develop.<span> </span>And thank you for the<span> </span>timely sermon from McLean Bible Church’s online church this morning along with the music that softened my heart to listen.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-70059110545326206622011-01-03T23:04:00.004-05:002011-01-04T22:00:51.132-05:00Time Won't Give Me TimeWhy is it that I can get up at 5 am and still be late to work at 8 am? How come I can walk downstairs at 7:15 and not leave until 7:50? Where does the time go? I'm reading this article in the Scientific American about time. It's not giving me answers. I need to know, people, because time has given me problems my whole life.<br /><br />My Mom and step-Dad used to say that I obviously believed that Star Trek was real. They said that because I would leave home at the same time that I was supposed to be someplace. They figured that I reckoned that I could just beam wherever it was I needed to be and be on time.<br /><br />I go into a store and time stops. Really, it does! It doesn't start again until I come out of the store after strolling around touching, trying on, and paying. Then it's as if time has sped up out of control, and I'm late again. No, I know what you are saying and no, I'm not imagining it. Time really does stop. I forget all about time until I've left the merchandise induced trance that is shopping. And it doesn't matter how much I remind myself before I go in that I have a deadline or a time constraint (psh, as if I'd really recognize that), I still act like I have all the time in the world.<br /><br />Why do some people have an innate sense of time and others don't? Now that I mention it, how did it get to be 11:30 pm now? I was just eating dinner with Steve a minute ago!<br /><br />How can I wile away the hours conferring with the flowers and consulting with the rain, yet it takes for-ev-er for vacation to get here? Then when it does, why is it over in a blink, no matter what I do or how much I pack into it?<br /><br />How can a life of four score years and 10 seem so short yet three years seems so long, unending and unendurable?<br /><br />Do we as humans just long to be outside of time like God is and to see time spread out like a landscape in front of us like Scientific American says time is arranged with past, present and future mashed in together, losing their separate meaning? In eternity, will we have a sense of time or will we forget how old we've gotten? Will it matter? And if it doesn't matter then, why does it matter so much now?Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-58203838388597378922010-12-28T21:19:00.004-05:002010-12-28T23:13:44.629-05:00MonticelloI didn't grow up around here. I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, for at least what I call my formative years--grades 3 through 6. We took field trips to <a href="http://www.miamidade.gov/vizcaya/">Vizcaya</a> and <a href="http://www.flaglermuseum.us/">Henry Flagler's home</a>, two of Florida's prominent citizens. My Mom took me to Walt Disney World for vacations. We hung out in the pool and at Pompano Beach. By the time I moved back up to Maryland, (I did spend 1st and 2nd grade in MD, but we were learning readin', writin', and 'rimetic so had no time for history.) I was in jr. high and high school and supposedly we had visited all the historical landmarks around Washington, DC. Consequently, I never visited <a href="http://www.monticello.org/">Monticello</a>, Thomas Jefferson's home. <br /><br />When Steve heard that I'd never made the pilgrimage to Charlottesville, VA, he wanted to take me. He went on and on about how cool Monticello was and that even as a young boy, he was fascinated. In 16 years of marriage, we'd never gone though. Other vacation meccas had always lured us away with their siren songs. Our cross country adventure trip changed all that. We would make Monticello our last stop before our abrupt bump back into work from vacation.<br /><br />Since they were the last nights we'd spend "on the road", I wanted to stay at a posh hotel. Steve let me choose the Omni hotel, downtown near the pedestrian mall. Posh it was! We availed ourselves of the pool and the hot tub. We walked down the <a href="http://www.downtowncharlottesville.net/dine.html">pedestrian mall</a> trying to decide which of the myriad delights we'd eat for dinner. We chose a Mediterranean restaurant, Bashir's Tavern. Yummy! Next morning, we got up early (for us) and headed to Monticello.<br /><br />Lunch was our first order of business after picking up our tickets. We tried the snack bar at the Visitor's Center. Not bad. As we were eating, we recognized a couple of our fellow visitors, the Stewart's and the Palmer's from our church. We enjoyed visiting with them, and they helped ease the transition from vacationing with strangers (mostly) to arriving back home to friends.<br /><br />We had some time to poke around the Visitor's Center before our tour time at the house. We watched the introductory film, <span style="font-style: italic;">Thomas Jefferson's World</span>, as an orientation. We were fascinated by the exhibit, Thomas Jefferson and the Boisterous Sea of Liberty. It consisted of a wall of flat LCD screens and interactive stations. It explored Thomas Jefferson's ideas about liberty and their continuing influence today. Basically an era of Jefferson's life was highlighted on the screens which would generate streams of words. On one of the touch screens one only had to touch one of the words to open a text box explaining the importance of that word and defining it. After an allotted amount of time, the era would change, and a new batch of words would flow. We spent at least 3o to 45 minutes in this room alone. We wandered through the architecture exhibit and the exhibit highlighting Jefferson's experiments. At the appointed time, we boarded the bus that took us up to the house proper. <br /><br />We were escorted through the rooms of Monticello, walking through the doors that opened together using a pulley system, looking at the day and time clock that was so tall a hole had to be cut into the floor to accommodate it, marveling at the beds that were standard bed size but seemed so much smaller due to being built into alcoves designed to conserve heat and space, allowing the rooms to be used for more than sleeping. Jefferson used mirrors to bring light into rooms, had a dumb waiter to bring food up from the cellar kitchens and used pocket doors to save space. I was thoroughly captivated! <br /><br />After the house tour, we could explore the gardens and outbuildings on our own. We saw the kitchens, the servants (slave) quarters, bathrooms, wine cellars, and took an extremely interesting tour of the gardens. Our guide explained the various plant species that were cultivated from seeds that Thomas Jefferson had hybridized. She told us about Jefferson's experiments in plant growth and how his daughter had to make sure that at least part of the garden was planted with actual usable food. Jefferson was all about the experiments and observations. He wasn't concerned with such trivial matters as eating. Our guide also explained that the Jefferson foundation was trying to buy back more of the original land including the small mountain that Jefferson had intended to plant with grape vines. Why was his land sold off? Jefferson actually died bankrupt.<br /><br />Jefferson's money troubles were more than just him caring about experiments more than practical matters. They were actually caused because he was a two term president, devoted to his country. In his time, the president was required to pay for all White House Staff salaries and supplies to run the household or have state dinners from what he received as his salary. Needless to say, he didn't make nearly enough to cover expenses. He took what needed from his own Monticello. His incurred debts should have been covered by what land and holdings that he had. Unfortunately for him and really because of him, as president, Jefferson had made the Louisiana Purchase. Suddenly, the United States had all sorts of land instead of being locked into the relatively narrow strip of the east coast. Jefferson's own land value plunged. He effectively bankrupted himself by expanding this country. Amazing devotion! <br /><br />We left Monticello with our heads and hearts stuffed with facts and impressions of this great man and his home. Our own home was our next stop.Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-6461940755039962742010-11-14T00:12:00.005-05:002010-12-29T10:20:41.657-05:00Long Beach, CAWhile Steve attended the World Congress of NCMA (April 5 - 8, 2009), I explored Long Beach! I walked all around the town. I shopped in the little village across the street, buying a turquoise ring, a pink straw bag, an enamel tile wall hanging and some candy at a bulk candy store. I walked uptown to buy some shoes for our evening banquet and found them and a used bookstore. I also treated myself to a manicure.<br /><br />Dinner that first night was a banquet at the Aquarium. Since evenings could still run to the chilly side, I knitted myself a rectangular shawl. I went to All About Yarn and asked them what pattern and yarn I could use to make a quick shawl. They suggested this lovely. thin yarn in black with a silver thread running through it. I knit it on big needles. I was almost finished with it. A morning's concerted effort of knitting in the room completed the project in the nick of time. With the black Barbie shoes I bought, I matched Steve's elegance in his long-sleeved shirt, dress slacks, jacket and tie. We started out near the sting ray tank with a cocktail party and then were escorted into the first floor of the aquarium. The food was pretty good, and all the contract people at the table were anticipating the speaker. Unfortunately, the acoustics in the room did not lend themselves to public speaking, and his words were distorted and unintelligible by the time they reached us in the back. We cut out to the awaiting buses while the party leaders were patting themselves on the back for a good year.<br /><br />It wasn't all me by myself exploring though. Steve and I walked around together in the evenings and shared dinner with a couple of MD NCMA'ers at Gladstones a local seafood restaurant with a beautiful waterfront view. Before heading to Anaheim, we also ate with his co-workers from APL at Famous Dave's. Typical food but good fun seeing what everyone else was doing with the rest of their week's vacation.Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-43812072269067154412010-11-13T18:44:00.002-05:002010-11-14T00:07:31.820-05:00The Road Less TraveledOur dilemma was not nearly as deep as Robert Frost's poem, <a href="http://www.amandashome.com/road.html">The Road Not Taken</a>. We just had a Sunday free and no plan of what to do with it. I suggested driving further south to San Diego and exploring the city. Steve suggested an alternative. As a general rule he prefers looking at God's creation rather than man's so studying the California map, he found the Joshua Tree National Park. He's a huge U2 fan. Of course, he wanted to see the place that inspired their album title. I figured that I'd be with Steve so it didn't really matter where we went. Joshua Tree won the day. <br /><br />The California landscape is so different from what we have back East. Snow-capped mountains or just really huge weird shaped hills. Desert! Cliffs dropping straight into the ocean. Gargantuan, three-bladed windmills. Palm trees. We loved the drive, alone with our thoughts since the wind from the topless convertible blew our words out of our mouths. At one point, we needed gas. I suggested Palm Springs. I'd grown up hearing about Bing Crosby and Walt Disney and Rock Hudson and all the rest of that era's movie stars heading to Palm Springs to do whatever it is movie stars do on vacation. Steve agreed to this detour. We stopped at the Visitor's Center, got some brochures, cruised the town, fed the car and fed us (at the In and Out Burger--fast food is also different in CA). After that, a couple more stretches of desolate road and a couple more hills, and we were there. We checked out the Visitor's Center, reading about the indigenous flora and fauna. We drove Park Boulevard all the way down to Keys View where we saw into Mexico and viewed the ominous San Andreas Fault, sitting there quietly in the sun. Then we followed it back around past huge piles of rock and the ubiquitous Joshua trees, arms sprouting weirdly in all directions. Relaxed and filled, we headed back to Long Beach, much better off for the road we took.<br /><br />And unlike the poet who never made it back to try that other road, we'll just have to plan another trip to California that includes San Diego.Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484238330254449992.post-41004678154677448992010-11-13T18:14:00.002-05:002010-11-13T18:43:34.027-05:00Sweet Ride!We hadn't planned on getting a car. Not really. At least not the kind that APL was willing to pay for. We didn't see much point in driving around Cali. in an economy car. Disappointed, Steve said we'd just take the bus. The BUS! In a car-driven (pardon the pun) society like California? Sigh!<br /><br />I didn't give up. I kept surfing the APL-approved rental sites every so often. Lo and behold, one fine day, a special! We could rent a convertible for the cost of an economy car! I snapped it up!<br /><br />Fast forward to our trip. We flew into LAX, caught the bus to the rental place, stood in line and waited and waited and waited some more. Everybody had a reservation for a convertible it seemed. Would there be enough? We waited so long the manager offered us a free day's rental. Sweet! Out came our car. It wasn't a convertible. Not sweet! The manger realized her mistake and then offered us an upgrade. "How about a Mustang convertible?" she said. Sweet yet again! Steve who thought he was going to have to travel by bus now had the cruising car of a lifetime. And we kept the top down pretty much exclusively despite highs only in the 60's. We just turned on the heat. Heaven on earth!Suziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12094704504877657995noreply@blogger.com0