Sunday, September 22, 2013

A Weighty Matter

I'm overweight. The BMI charts and my WiiFit hasten to add that I'm also Obese. I've struggled with my weight from third grade on. I've always wanted to get at the Why I use food for comfort. I seem to think that if I can figure out the loose wire or broken pipe of why I abuse food and then fix it, my trouble with food will be over. A discussion in a church meeting recently made me question that belief. The discussion made me think it was more a matter of attitude. 

We were talking about changing our church. We were talking about fixing it. We were wondering whether or not find the loose wire or broken pipe (knowing the Why) and fixing it would really make  a difference. The pastor asked a couple of questions, one about change and one about attitude, "What does it take to make disciple-makers?" and "Do we even want to?" I had the thought, "I could ask myself the same question about weight loss." I then put a pin in that thought because I was supposed to be thinking about the church not myself. Today I'm getting back to that pin. 

What would it take for me to lose weight permanently? Do I even want to? The answer to the second question should  be a resounding YES, but then I think of the ways I sabotage myself--buying doughnuts "to be nice", getting that milkshake (or candy bar or bag of chips) "because I deserve it". Do I really want to do the hard work necessary to change my life? (Because it will be hard and long--I've over 80 pounds to lose) And if I do, what will it take?